DRAMA CLASSWORK | STAGE 3 MONOLOGUES

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Compromise
By Jorge Gustafus

Francis: Dad? Can I talk to you? Okay Dad, here’s the deal. I don’t want to play little league this year. I stink at baseball. I just do. I never seem to hit the ball. I drop the catch, and I throw like a girl. Its embarrassing. And…..I know, I know. You always say if I just keep practicing…..but here’s the thing- I hate baseball!! I really do. Even if I were good at it, I’d hate it. So I was thinking- I’ve played for three years now, right? Maybe it’s time I try something else this summer. Like……well, did you see that ad in the newspaper for boys around my age to act in some play called “Oliver” for the summer? Well, everyone’s always said I can act and sing really good, and I really really like doing it, and…..How about this: you let me try out for this play, and if I don’t make it in, I’ll play on the team again. Please?!? That’s fair, isn’t it? I promise I won’t complain if I - Yes? I can?!? Thanks Dad!! Wow! Thank you! Yes! I promise I’ll make you proud!

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Make Lemonade
by Jorge Gustafus

Samantha: Hi Brit! What? No, I don’t really like watching the news… He said what? Figures. What do I mean, “figures?” Well, he’s a politician, isn’t he? No, I don’t hate him. What does it matter – I can’t vote yet anyways. If I could? Look, they’re all the same. The all lie and call each other names – it’s worse than Chris & Rob in geometry. Heck, it’s worse than my younger brothers! And it’s always the same old thing: blah, blah, blah, economy; blah, blah blah, war; blah, blah, blah, blah education; blah, blah, blah, taxes… Yeah, I know it’s important and again – so what? We can’t do anything about it. Even our parents can’t do anything about it. It’s like every election you’re given a choice between two lemons in a used car lot, and you’ve got to figure out which one you could tolerate driving for the next four years. Look do we have to talk about this? This is why I don’t like watching the news, y’know? It’s just more bad reality TV, only we’re supposed to care because it’s supposed to mean something. Can we, like, talk about boys or something?

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Playground Showdown
By Jorge Gustafus

Bernie: (Looks up at much bigger kid) Okay Frank. I’m here. You still want a fight? Yeah? Well, okay….here I am! All right! But before we start……hey, your show is untied. (Tries a punch, misses and falls to ground) (Quickly getting up) Hey, hey, I was just….warming up you know. Gettin’ the muscles all limber ‘n’ all. But I’m ready now, yep, ready to go! I’m not afraid of…..of being expelled. Yeah, you didn’t know? They expel kids for fighting now, especially if they already have a record. They’re calling it “zero tolerance”. Of course, I haven’t gotten in trouble before, so they will probably go easy on me, but let’s face it Frank, you know the principal’s office better than your own bedroom. I don’t think you have much of a chance of…..what? You don’t think we should fight now? Well, if you think so. I’d rather have it out here and now, but if you’re sure? You’re sure. Okay, I’ll let you go this time, but just know that if you challenge me again, you’re not getting off so easy!

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The Catalyst
By Jorge Gustafus

Olivia: Omigod! That’s him! The one I was telling you about? From science class? No, oh my god no! Not him! Yech! To the right of him. Yeah, hi— no! Don’t you think I have any taste at all? The one in the middle of those two losers! Yes! Him! Isn’t he just hot? His name is Braden Murphy – What a name, huh? He – omigod-he just-looked-over here-I-could-just-die! What? NO! I couldn’t! Karen! Where are you goi— omigod I’m going to die! What is she doing? What are you saying to him Karen? He waved! (Waves back) He waved. He waved at me. Why did he wave at me? What is she saying? I swear I’m going to kill you Karen as soon as you come back here I’m going to rip the flesh right off your bones I’m going to kill you so hard! I’m— omigod, they’re coming over here. They’re… Hi! Nice to meet you! Uh-huh? The dance? Um, yeah! I mean, sure. That would be great! My number? Oh! My number. 567-8989. Yeah, cool. I’ll talk to you later.

Oh god, Karen, I love you!!!

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Pilot
By Jorge Gustafus

Eric: I’m going to be a pilot some day. My Dad has this friend, John, who’s really cool and who goes to our church, and he flies this airplane called a Banana with this really weird tail on it, and he shows people how to fly, and he says that as soon as I’m old enough, he’s going to show me how to fly just like he does. Really! He’s really cool. Sometimes he flies over the house real close and waves. Mom says he’s crazy, but I think it’s really exciting. And in the summer, they have this thing at the airport where all these pilots do tricks for some prize, and he always wins it! He’s the coolest grownup ever, and he’s going to teach me to fly as soon as I’m old enough. I only have to wait (counts on fingers)….NINE YEARS?!? NINE WHOLE YEARS?!?

Well, how old do I have to be a fireman?

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Step On A Crack
By Jorge Gustafus

Linny: Hey sis’ watcha up to? Yeah, me too. Nuthin. So, is this where you go to be alone? Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. Wanna know where mine is? You know Hanson’s property along the creek? If you go to the far side and up into the woods, there’s a cool little clearing in there. I’ll show you some time? (pause) You think they’re done fighting? Maybe we should wait a little more. If we’re lucky, she’ll pass out & we can sneak back into the bedroom before she wakes up in her hangover. Naw, we’ll be okay then. Just pretend to be asleep, that usually works. Why do they do what? Oh. I don’t know. I guess it’s just— I guess they’re sad. Oh no, Laura, it’s not you, it’s not us! It’s them! Laura… (pause) Hey Laura, remember what we said when we were young? “Step on a crack, I got my sister’s back?” Instead of “break your mother’s back?” Yeah, that was silly. But I meant it. Don’t you ever worry, okay? I got your back. And it’s not your fault, okay? It’s not your fault.

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Where Have You Been All My Life?
by Jorge Gustafus

Andy: (At the computer IMing. Father enters room and speaks – Andy does not look up from computer and keeps typing. ) Mm-hm. Yeah. What? Dad, I’m busy. Dad – rrr! (Looks up from computer) What? Can’t we do this later? Oh no! No! Dad! You’re trying to give me the sex talk aren’t you? Dad! No! I already, I – man, you don’t need to tell be tellin’ me this, I know it already! How? Who doesn’t by the time they’re 14? By the time they’re 10? No, not just friends – they give classes in this stuff. Abstinence, protection, all that stuff – you don’t need to go into it. I said… You wanna be more a part of my life? Man, Dad, you wanna do that now? Well tell me, where were you our team played the league championship? Where were you when I won the English award? Right, work. I know. You have commitments. You do it all for us. I know. Sure, but how can you just expect to come in here now and have a talk about sex when you don’t even know me? How can you? You’re never around… Fine. I’m sorry I upset you. Can I go back to my homework?

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REAL
Monologue for a Female (this monologue is not from a play)
by Jimmy Brunelle

Female: Most people think I'm weird because I volunteer down at the local homeless shelter. "Why do you want to be around those low-lifes"? It's just that one day, I was walking around feeling really sorry for myself because my mother wouldn't let me pierce my nose--everyone else was getting it done. Anyway, I walked by this wooded area that was really, really littered. Suddenly, this guy sits up from beneath all these cardboard boxes. I'd never seen anybody so dirty. Beard down to here. Hair down to here. It was his eyes though. When I looked into them, it was like the whole of existence just disappeared...except for his eyes. It was like I was seeing myself--but he wasn't me--but he was me. I just took off running as fast as I could. I didn't want to feel what I was feeling. Finally, something made me stop. I couldn't just do nothing. So, I bought him a pepperoni pizza, went back and just plopped it there in front of him like he was going to bite me or something. He said "Thanks, sister", and smiled. I said "you're welcome", and really meant it. Then I walked home--the long way. I needed to think. Up to that point, my whole life was a sham. For the longest time I pretended to be someone I wasn't--so other fake people would accept me. I finally saw someone for the first time...me. So, that's why I work at the shelter. There, I feel real.

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"Confused Teen"
Both Angie and Harmony are in their early teens. Angie's going through some physical changes, inside and out, and like any other good teenager, can't associate these changes with life's little obstacles.

Angie: What's going on Harmony? I don't get it, why is it when you become a teenager everything gets so confusing? I mean, what are they doing, spiking the make-up? Is there some unwritten law that when you become a teenager you move into the realm of insanity? If I remember correctly, that's about the time everything started getting nutty. Think about it...I'm supposed to wash my face BEFORE I exercise to prevent build-up. No, I'm supposed to wash my face AFTER I exercise to prevent break-outs. I'm NOT SUPPOSED to eat chocolate because it causes pimples. Wait, I'm SUPPOSED to eat chocolate before I take a test, because it's great, "brain food." I'm SUPPOSED to have lots of foods hat are rich in iron to help my circulation. Hold on, now, I'm NOT SUPPOSED to have a lot of iron because it prevents my body from absorbing calcium properly. Wow, if I can survive being a confused teenager, I think I can pretty much survive anything!
Let's get out of here, I'm hungry!

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"Down the Tubes"
Cynthia is confiding in her older sister, before she faces the grim job of telling her parents the bad news, that she won't be following the family footsteps by graduating Valedictorian.

Cynthia: Well it's done, I've passed the point of no return...I can't believe this has happened! All my life, I've been great in school, I've always been a leader, almost always the first in my class...until now. I don't know what got into me. I'm so angry at myself; I knew I should have studied harder. Ever since I was a little girl, I've dreamt of delivering my Valedictorian speech at Graduation...just like Mom, just like you, just like most of my cousins...now, my shot at being Valedictorian is pretty much over. I feel awful; I feel like I've disappointed everyone, including myself...Why didn't I try harder, I should have paid more attention to my grades. My Dad would tell me, "I know your smart sweetheart, I know you feel like you've got it nailed, but it wouldn't hurt to do just a little extra credit to pad your average." But noooo! I was too smart for that...You know most kids would have celebrated the grades I got, but not me, it's like I broke some sacred chain!...Well it's finally over, and there's nothing I can do about it, but cry a little tear and get on with life. But you know what's ironic?...As bad as I feel right now, it's like a giant load has been lifted off my shoulders...it's like I'm ...........FREE!

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"One Way Street"
Janice has just called Cheryl with another problem. She is more of a talker than a listener, and as always has something to complain about. Cheryl on the other hand, has an active life, full of meaningful relationships and always busy. Somehow I get the feeling that Janice needs Cheryl, more than the other way around.

Janice: (On the Phone) Hey, girl! Sorry I haven't called you back. My Mom's throwing a fit again. Two weeks ago, it was because I snuck out at night to go to a party out on the beach, last week because I skipped school to go to the mall, and now today because she found that pack of cigarettes I had hidden in my underwear drawer...she shouldn't be in my room anyways. (Beat) Oh, yeah, tell me about it! Thank goodness I have you to talk too; otherwise I'd surely lose my mind. It's not easy being understood nowadays. (Beat) I'm O.K. I guess. It's more annoying than anything else. I just feel like curling-up and falling asleep when this happens. You think everything will be O.K.? Really...thanks girl. I appreciate your encouragement. You're always there for me...you're the best friend a girl could ever have...you make me feel so...Hello? Hello?
Why, that little tramp hung-up on me again!

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"Betrayal"
Tina is angry with her boyfriend, or should I say ex-boyfriend. Her anger and humiliation is so intense that her eyes begin to glaze, but proudly holds back the tears as she gives him a peace of her mind.

Tina: What do you thing you're doing?! I mean as if it wasn't bad enough you asked Ginny out on a date behind my back, but I had to find out about it, from Shannon, who couldn't wait to throw it in my face. I was so humiliated, I could have died! I thought we were supposed to be going out...isn't that what you told me Monday? What ever happened too, "Tina, you're different from other girls," or, "I feel like I can tell you anything", or, "I knew you were special the first time I saw you"? Were you just playing me? What do you want from me? (Pause) No! You know what? I don't even care...this whole thing was just a pathetic lie to satisfy your ego, wasn't it?...I mean you didn't even have the decency to break it off before you jumped into something else. I can't believe I fell for the whole honesty routine...Just leave, I can't even look at you, you make me sick (Pause) Please, just leave!...O.K...I admit it, you got me, so take your little trophy, add me to your collection and get out of my life!